Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Miraculous Movember Mustache Maintenance!

As good of a run as it has been, I am glad this Movember mustache is no more. The itchiness and the split ends were beginning to have a detrimental impact on my appearance.

This is what I wrote just after I shaved it off. Now that it's gone I miss it. I particularly miss the bizarre looks people would give me and the comparisons both positive (Ubermensch Tom Selleck twice) and negative (apparently Hitler though I do not see it) I would receive.

A mustache need not be a obstacle to leading a successful life. Ernest Hemingway had one, Otto von Bismarck had one, and you gentlemen can have one too! With proper grooming and maintenance, an exceptional appearance can be achieved to compliment your adventurous, on-the-go lifestyle! Below are some mustache pointers.

1) Shampoo and Conditioner:
How else you you think I achieved such bold and luscious eyebrows? Much like the hair on your head, the mustache on your face needs to be cleaned and conditioned to prevent split ends. 

2) Trim
If those split ends do occur on your mustache, best practices indicate trimming your mustache. Trimming will also give your mustache a cleaner, less bushy appearance.

3) Wax
Once your mustache has grown a sufficient length, you should style it much like you would your hair. The ladies will appreciate you for it!

4) Proper Diet
A good diet is mandatory for a man to achieve the perfect mustache. The Vitamin Center recommends eating a diet rich in essential oils (ie flax seed), and with a hefty amount of Vitamin B & C. (Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, for medical advice, speak to a medical practitioner near you!) 

For my female readers: I cant ever expect you to understand a man's primal need for a mustache. If you need a nuclear option to discourage your male counterpart from growing 
their mustache, threaten to grow a deliberate anklet!

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